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                       consciousness is like the sea ~ every atom has wings     Fabulous Shadow   composing Hart Crane           

    Fabulous Shadow

Fall mute and sudden (dealing change for lilies) [Hart Crane]

c o l d  
the fabulous shadow
of this new word
in my head
blue sun dead
feel my deep love pain
 turbulent years of wasted silence  

 

         wanton lust
arriving backwards
 surround the maggot queen

   it was the betrayal
 that hurt

              not the act
 or her body
         in my mind
 with another man

 it was the betrayal
            itself

VIEW cold [take 5] video on youTube <<<<<<<<
middle
now
scene one                 

When Sam Loveman left the Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck, New Jersey on July 30, 1947, it was with that feeling of awe and disquiet, so habitually associated with funerals and events the like. He had just said a final goodbye to the mother of his longtime friend, the almost tragically gifted poet Harold Hart Crane, whose mother Grace Hart, had been hospitalized at the Holy Name for months, seventy years of age, suffering from a liver disease. She, outliving her son by fifteen years, following his infamous, suicidal leap from the deck of cruise liner the SS Orizaba, on route from Vera Cruz in Mexico to New York, at the ridiculous age of thirty-two. It was April 27, 1932.

When the fiance of this drunken poet, Peggy Baird, was summoned to the vicinity of the irate Captain - a certain James Blackadder - he informed her with utter lack of empathetic presence, that if the propellers didn't shred him to bits, the sharks would have got him immediately. Peggy, the only woman Hart had ever known intimately, was also the recent divorcee of another of Harts oldest friends - the renowned man of letters, Malcolm Cowley. Hart Crane was overtly homosexual - came from a broken family, the only child. His father Clarence Crane was a wealthy candy manufacturer who, in this context ironically, had invented the peppermint life-saver pastil.

Alas for Hart, his millionaire father had lost everything, following the depression of the great Wall Street crack, two years earlier. His only son, when thrashing about in the waves, enacting his final poem, in the very sea which had always engrossed his imagination so, refused to make use of the life-savers thrown his way by the crew. Peggy never witnessed her fiance's last short battle, being in her cabin below deck, nursing a hand burnt the previous day by an exploding box of Cuban matches, when the ship was docked in Havana.

below water
he wanted to be filled
with something
peggy said
while letting a lit
cigarette nearer her
mouth
thinking of her fiancé
who jumped ship
literally

did himself in
high noon twas
from that ship of ghosts
in black water
off florida

a fabulous shadow
surrounded by sea
light below water
undying

Goodbye sweet lover. I will miss you, more than even your words can ever convey. More than the juice of past intimacy will ever surpass. I am longing for your otherworldly embrace. The cobalt of your eyes. Your unlimited presence. The deep green door in the woods. We entered together. You never returned. They say, until death us do part. I say, until death us do reunite, my eternal.

VIEW below water video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

maybe if            

          be there
between the leaves
          of a season changing
          of a shattered light
between memories
unified
recurrent
pulse
take these walls

this inertia
our view
the bloodletting
a stone window
passing thru one mind
one mind
someone’s mind
somewhere
by sin
i open this door
while closing this one
a face looking in
breaches the divide
hearts divided
nourished with dedicated blind theft
despair is rife
even the sun is black
menaced by the reaper
of light
oblique
hideous tormenter
infidelity

VIEW maybe if ~ by sin video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

scene two     
bottom
middle
now

 nothing
the rat looked
 up
 yet could not
see a sky

the motion of stars
 meant nothing

   neither
the stirring of
 coffee

  or  sun on a
winters day

  there was nothing
but beginning

nothing    nuffin

VIEW nothing video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

whispering
drawn from
deep within
thru the deep green
  door in the woods

a mind angel dispatch
far away inside
          a signal
messenger of sadness

orizaba   broken tower
              fabulous shadow
    whisperer

VIEW whispering video on youTube <<<<<<<<

Muddafucka, was The Calabrian’s initial reaction, in response to the request forwarded by his good friend and lifelong associate Michael Merisi. Muddafucka. it came like a slow sigh from his thin lips, the fag stuck in limbo, a thin white rope ascending.

 

constructed
that morning
   when you disappeared
the trace from your body
       gone
left me
     with empty sad morning
[you don’t want to be in my head]
days
     weeks
months
    years
seemed to blow by
     while your absence
never left me
      this poem
this morning poem
                 broke away from the
dream construction
                      suddenly awake

VIEW constructed video on youTube <<<<<<<<

  • Yes, who is it?
  • Is it Eduardo Grazziano?
  • Yes, maybe and maybe not…….who is asking?
  • The Calabrian, Eduardo.
  • The Calabrian?..........The Calabrian?!
  •  Yes, it is I. We have a problem, up your alleyway. Big problem. Are you seated and ready?
  • Yes, one moment……yes sir, fire away……
scene three
bottom
top
now

 

sylvia dead  sylvia dead
         this broken promise i keep
entwined and hid in your poem
               making your disaster work
mind games
constructed constrictions
        it was a very cold
                 day
disaster season      
a moment of futility

VIEW sylvia dead video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

scene four

scrap mountain

your shadows stumble across waste and secretion
                            bandaged bodies  trailing
                                               debris crawling
                                           you support two families
begging

sapiens  when will you realize  we are all one

when poverty is ur only companion
disease ur closest kin          
      dying will be ur most faithful lover
yet  life   shines thru ur vigilant eyes
rampant savage melancholic murmur
    u run back to me in the street

     friend

     smiling

            passionate

bottom
top
now

Harold felt like doing it. Getting it all over with. Finish the job. Not like in Mexico City, just a few weeks earlier when, after carving up the brilliant portrait recently painted by likewise brilliant David Siqueiros, he had swallowed a bottle of iodine, hoping it would take care of business. Instead Peggy had taken affair and called a doctor, who promptly brought him back to this nightmarish journey, this emotional hell, for a small fee. And notified the keepers of bureaucracy, in effect criminalizing him, since suicide is an offence in 1932 Mexico. This time however the outlook was different, onboard this American cruise liner steadily making its way toward beloved New York, his modus vivendi, that which made his engines burn, his real life home. Though officially a native of the Midwestern US. Ohio.

    blue   Crane     His tormented life, the whole crux thrust upon him, by his disastrously divorced parents, the death of his wealthy father the year before, the calamitous debris of the Wall Street crash which had left him penniless despite being sole heir to millions, his homosexual urges coupled with alcohol addiction, the apparent though unproven diminishing of his poetic stash. His God-given talent. His unique Caravaggesque motherload. The early hours before  now, on the morning of April 27 1932, he had been down in the crews-quarters of the SS Orizaba, searching for the petals of love and secret oar. In other words; hard, fast sex from some compliant sailor. This, even though his fiancé Peggy Baird, just recently divorced from his good friend Malcolm Cowley, was residing in her cabin, nursing her enflamed hand, oblivious to him being back on his roll toward sexual gratification from his own gender. She was his first woman, bore a strange resemblance to his mother Grace Hart and was five years his senior. A rather unusual alliance, vowing each other to be wed in a few months, probably back in Ohio.

Much later in the timeline of Planet Earth, a serious man of art, a certain tetriano who somehow went unnoticed thru life, would compare his writing to the artistic genius of Van Gogh, Vermeer, Gauguin, Basquiat and Caravaggio, stating adamantly in the face of habitual mainstream adversity, that this tragically gifted man, Harold Hart Crane harboured the gift of all these titanic image makers and perhaps  more. Not only was he their equal in terms of raw genius, like uncut diamonds thrown before swine. He was their brother in arms, when it came to his immediate social dealings with life and the way the maker of life dealt him its deepest nocturnal card, knowing if anybody would rise from the ashes of tragedy to conquer the imagination of mankind, it was like these artists, likewise Harold Hart Crane. In but  a few hours, destined to leap from the stern of the SS Orizaba and never return to haunt the bars of back-alley New York or any other place for that matter, but instead be ensconced, down thru the poem of the sea, among strange creatures deriving from the beginning of creation. In his own, contented and satisfied at having rid himself of that terrestrial nuisance, humdrum trivialities of common day injected the fatal, downward spiral of his various tombstone enslavements. The slave of ecstasy.

the real
these fabulous
moments of utter plain   
naked terror 
where life is a state   
of only being  
where i see the       
reality
of being
reaching inside me
tears out my  
bleeding heart 
separates it from my mind

VIEW the real video on youTube <<<<<<<<

I write poetry, not for money, not to produce in order to capitalize. I write poetry because it is a beautiful statement and to the uninitiated, useless morsels of nothing. But for me, poetry is not only a beautiful creation, worthy of existance, in itself, for no other reason than beauty. The right poem and I chose to believe, my poems, stand to live forever. And somewhere, perhaps centuries down the line, effect some person in a manner that will change his world, his outlook, forever. Then I have made an impact. And poetry has this power, because it is simple, it does not crave nourishment, but only the acceptance and understanding of an intellect with imagination. Once the poem has been created, recorded and passed on, it can never die. It is eternal. Therefore father, i write poetry and will to the day I die, solely for these reasons and none other. I will never serve money or capital. Never.

These words still tumble thru dazed and confused tunnels in my mind, as I contemplate these my last hours as a living, breathing, functioning organism. I look over at Peggy. I like her. I don't love her, but I like her soul. She reminds me of mother. The softness in her eyes, the way her mouth corner sags, the patience she shows me, in those terrible moments when I lose my mind and let fly loose volcanic debris, indiscriminately, just for it's own sake. My rage. At my father, when he was alive, because he was alive. Now my ravings and resentments since his death, recently of note flare up at any slight resistance by others, even imaginary. My light is dying. I feel it has been since he died. Father, why did you forsake me? I need you now. Wait for me......Peggy......please forgive me. Just at this moment someone is thumping on her cabin door. She is nervously pulsing a cigarette. The Cuban variety, from our recent Havana evening, only yesterday. Try to forgive me Peggy. I needed it .So bad. Was a craving, an urge. I had to have it one last time. We will be together forever, Pegs my love, just you and I, embraced within heterosexual glory. I just had to have him again, for one agonizingly final moment. Crescendo magnifico.

the ghost ship

walking  Brooklyn’s bridge  alone
  today’s past
              seen  coming forth wide

black lungs down this mesmerized metropolis
              jazzed encapsulated eyes
      chilled constricted air
        trafficked ice bosom

                                             escape
               haloed placental veins
velocity’s shadowed mind
   worded wing unchained

             silence
a stunning objectivity
Delft by Vermeer
                                inside  stroked brush poetic
shrouded psyche

You see, I know this man who lives in downtown Havana. He is a poet and dishwasher. At a restaurant down by the castle. Where the sea breaks your thoughts and swallows your imagination in large chunks. He does his job and for a little extra recites his own creations to customers or passers-by. He is a regular character. A true bohemian. This is the land where my compatriot Ernest is going to write his most famous novel, in a few decades from here. Strange thing, me and Ernest. Born on the very same day, three hundred miles apart. His mother and mine, both named Grace. Both from Oak Park, Illinois. What are the odds?. Both of us being gambling men, I know he wouldn't take the wager either. The odds are staggering. Yesterday was Emil's birthday. April 26th and for the love of God, I can't forget him. His Danish smile, the way he looked at me, the soft whisper he reserved for only me. Five years since he left me and I have never missed his birthday celebration, inside me. The hurt is still there.

Why was he unable to commit? Absorb my feelings and respond. My longing is unbearable. The memory of his touch, his gentle, almost courteous appreciation of my body. My poetry. It was a unique sentiment. A wholly personal thing. It was a karmic relationship, no less. Save for him, Voyages would never have seen daylight, nor even The Bridge. He was the muse over all inspiration. The spirit which bore me through those difficult creative moments, filled with doubt and nagging suspicions, lack of true genius, blackness. He was there. Is all that matters now. There, when it mattered. But now he's gone. Forever. And I am here in Havana, on his birthday, looking for another man to replace his muscular flesh. Ramon, poet and dishwasher. Told Peggy to meet me at a specific restaurant. Can't make it there. She's gonna kill me, isn't she? Jeeeezzz, Harold. How do you get your wasted ass into these situations, for crying out loud.

before
night falls
and the shadow of her curtain
drawn     maintains silence
within a silent scream
entombed by  
beauty 

VIEW before video on youTube <<<<<<<<

The pounding on the cabin door once again. I look at Peggy. It's her space. She tells the purser to come in. I'm real hungry. Drunken hangover gets you that way. Besides, that snarling left fist from the crew I made a pass at yesterday didn't help, now did it? How was I to know he had wife and kids back in Hoboken. Thought all sailors by definition were up for grabs. Occupational hazard or perk, whichever point of view chosen. We can still have breakfast, can't we, she asked him, looking suddenly older than the old she was. I am bringing her down as well. Everything around me is shattering, falling to pieces. Even Peggy. My fiance. Why is it I have this affect on people and situations, and getting worse. And Peggy. She will lose not only a fiance, but a husband and yes, be widowed. Twice, in a sense, divorced within a year and widowed. Poor Peggy. Poor, dearest Peggy, do you remember the bells of Taxco. Incessantly ringing through the mountain air, making us dizzy with love and reverberation, yes and us belonging to the very noise of a very spectacular Catholic ritual, heart and ecstatic soul. Peggy dearest, how is it possible, I am thrusting this, my spent day upon you, innocent woman.

in cold blood
it’s down on me again
the black dungeon
engulf me with sickness of love
                                   gone cold  murdered

2  along bold lines crude mellow song
                                  in wintry shade paltry slow
                 the five horsemen
                 a blue head  the sun  dead

three       
soul  your sentenced truth   
slaves in windowless rooms   
reasons of belief   
grandeur   

We the damned, salute you. Hart wanted to be filled with something, was Peggy's rationale later. So he could go down faster. Sink, into the circuit calm and forever find his peace. In the vast, wide, poetic embassy, which is the endless sea, as well as universe. Whatever her belief, fact of the matter was, Harold Hart Crane filled his belly good with a vast, wide breakfast, in those last hours prior to his leap from the SS Orizaba. Later on, aforementioned tetriano compared his plunge, his leap of faith if you will, to the nagual leap into another realm, described by Carlos Castenada, in his "Teachings of Don Juan" He, tetriano that is, speculated upon an idea where Hart Crane never actually drowned. His body was never recovered and even his epitaph, back in the communal cemetery in Garretsville, Ohio, the small town where he first breathed daylight, on July 21. 1899, reads Lost at Sea, denoting that he was never found, but not necessarily deceased.

This kind of speculation of course, not to be taken lightly and certainly not seriously, wouldn't you say?. Though a pivotally entertaining and fanciful thought, especially for those die-hard Hart Cranians, who would love nothing more than to welcome their lionized idol back into the cauldron of living poetry. Imagine the surge of quality rendered by his resurrection. The resurrection of Hart Crane. Rich. Real rich stuff. So what happened to him, where did he go and why? Why haven't we heard from him? Where is his oeuvre from the decades following? I for one, wouldn't mind a touch of genius on this glorious, sun drenched, spring torrent day. Gimme, gimme the juice. The real thing. Thang.

he wanted to be filled
        with something
prior to departure
like jet airliners on certain fuel
                    the saturated void in his broken life
countered by them belly full

VIEW above poem video on youTube <<<<<<<<

so.....comrades......this is where everything skids out of control - latch on to something............................
the broken chapter
bottom
top
now

He wanted to be filled with something, she continued. It had to be that way. Nothing was gonna make him change his mind. He had tried it once before, back in the Mixcoac suburb of Mexico City. In the house, that huge, silly, crazy house. Full of flowers and rooms. Emtpy bottles and light. Lots of light. The omnipresent male servant and his whole damn family. Their friends too. Not to mention the endless fallout from Mexican revolution, the homeless revolutionaries. Viva la revolucion! Compadres. Follow me down. Into crucified tunnels of perpetually forbidden hope. Dreams. We, the revolution, salute you......beggars and thieves, drunkards and other addicts. Liars and dreamers. The poor and the dispossesed. The people........

    we the damned
cursed by the brush
of eternity's wing
salute your demise
      weak chapter
there is no rest for the damned
their sentence's passing
      blade
cuts the world in two
damn this pain
damn this fame
                  wicked

we, who lick the sweat from creation's brow
               see not that which does not last
          thru fear we
from another world
our minute troubles
as far as is the land
sea does not touch
minds caught in a crimson cross
                 splendor
to reap that which was not sown
spirits of a single day
patrol forests without laughter
nor a surprise from her eyes emit
when she died alone
                                       alone

enter this broken eternity
of shadowed expulsion
to encapsulate wisdomed fire
within           
without fear of extinction
vainglorious shell
of inward deflection
softly             
whispering
the word       
brazen bird       
bewitched cathedral
morning comes first    
then the blue light           

            good friday
           loometh big        
as shadows of easter awakening
cry reason  why me           
father
we forgive they     

You have given me the shell, Satan - carbonic amulet ~ Sere of the sun exploded in the sea

[O Carib Isle - Hart Crane - Key West]

the resurrected chapter

I feel the rhythm of the ship emanating thru my head and soul. I know now, this is my stepping stone. My launch pad to the grave. Melville's deep song. The sound of monadic terror in the belly of a whale. Ahab - Ahab! Your demonic love towards all that is white and deep marine, saturates my senses with your turmoil. The will of the sea. Treacherous and lecherous. Female. Peggy is watching me closely while her cigarette finds its equilibrium dangling from lips, so often kissed, so delicately feminine. Where are my cigars? I find one, rummaging thru my black and white housecoat and make it happen. The strong thickness invades my lungs. In these my last moments, I savor its demonic taste and fall into the violent effects of this Cuban deity. I pull out my flask. momentarily stuck, The Jack Daniels. Damn, thats good. Whoever invented that stuff should 've had The Nobel. I offer Peggy the powered liquid, but she declines. Sensible girl. In comes a purser. Peggy looks at me. Do I need anything?

I notice him looking at me closely, all strange. Was it the same guy who grabbed hold of me, early this morning, seconds before i was about to vault the railling, back of the ship? Leaving blued marks on my arms and neck. I really wanted to do it. Damn that man, why did he have to stop me? It was my turn, my route to freedom. Bastard! I was this close! This close! No, it can't be him. He's too skinny, the other guy was muscular. Think I propositioned him, didn't I? Took it out on me, didn't he. What all those extra bruises are about. Damn that sailor mentality. Whores is what they are. Nothing but ass-ridin' filth. Scum. This guy though, skinny and gentle looking. Peggy asks him a question, all blurred by my state of mind and general condition. Head's throbbing. Like a boulder passing through. Do they still serve breakfast? He said "surely". He hands her a menu. She passes it on to me.....let's see. I gotta get filled with something. Have to boost my sinking ability. What is a hundred and fifty pounds of internally well marinated meat in this ocean, teaming with sharks. Food, is what. Might as well give them that extra value for their labor. They are the knives and forks of Melville's ocean, come soon. Peggy said something.

What's that? Well, I'm hungry dearest. Starving actually. Been a long, excruciating night. My organism aches for nourishment. The comfort of work. What's that, there she goes again, staring at me with that bewitched cathedral gaze. Woman. Peggy of my life. Only woman. Pegs....... never doubted the poet in me, did she? Though I have touched her flesh of moons. Not like the rest of mankind rabble. Remember still clearly the captain, Blackadder - a year ago now, going the other way, how he scoffed, when upon inquiring my real life occupation. Had to stand up to him, didn't I. Still recall his distant sneer, ruminating over my reply. A poet, Sir! Why is it ordinary man just cannot fathom our depth, the intelligence we create. What's wrong with people? How come they just do not grasp beauty, standing there in their midst, before their very eyes. Naked, honest, bleeding beauty! Are they blind, is that why they cannot see? Poetry is the very essence to understanding life. The mystery! Jesus, everything about him, the Garden sorrow, his suffering, the sermon on the mount. All this is poetic brick and mortar. Why cannot they see that which is right in front of them?. What is wrong with mankind? Answer me this, God! Your children are deaf and dumb. Numbed by greed and infidelity and more greed. Why, Lord.....why?!

    Taxco gateway           Santa Prisca in Taxco         H A R O L D   H A R T   C R A N E

Nothing's gonna change my world. The fabulous shadow of your bewitched cathedral gaze, softly crosses the plane of the facade adorning baroque Santa Prisca church, a marvel in every sense of the blazing word, in my head. Blue sun, dead. This Christmas morning, the small hillside silversmith town of Taxco, southern Mexico, drenched in the syncopated colors of sun splash, reverberates with the sound of calyx bells. The bells, I say. Resounding thru every atom of God's wonderful creation, glorious I say, the bells and all their play. Peggy kisses me. As if to remind me once again, she is the first and only woman in my life hitherto. Is she too good for me? Probably. But she is here, now. And so am I. This beautiful plaza with all its whitewashed and flowery embedded architecture. All that is Spanish colonialism. Murmurs of Catholic presence and echoes from a genetically cacophonic past, in faces and stone alike. It's as if light itself - the fragmented togetherness of its personal being has taken abode - in stone, soul and time. Light and time. Lovers thru space. And space, is the place.

This day today is the monumental day. Now, seventy-five years since to the exact punctuation, was the day of Hart's vault from the ship of ghosts. His leap, his quantum leap into eternity. As i walk the banks of the five lakes in Copenhagen, teaming with boisterous fickle birds and wary ugly ducklings, mesmerized by spring in all its dripping, seething audacity, passing the mentaIconic Khufu's solar boat, I contemplate his move into the afterlife, his transition of the plutoCharon bridge. His cataclysmic voyage thru imaged words. Thru yanomamo trail. Amazonian glance from eternity's child, frozen by the dream evoked in your eyes, by my sun. The sphinx from Delft, exploded Caravaggio light, chiascuro. I am change, that which you fear. For I can bring not only prosperity, but also death, disease, destruction. You will never know, until it has become. Transformation is my name. Vaulted charisma undulating on waves of time's sanctum corporum random desire.

Walking the five lakes of Copenhagen. It's a time machine, bro........don't be fooled by the innocence of weekend, the blue Seurat enigma, the pale faces of biological debris floating past you. Its THE time machine. The ultimate in universal, bleeding edge, magic carpet ride. This is the leap zone. Is where you walk back or forth in time......depending on your direction and your intention. Howzat?....will not be disclosed at this juncture. If your mind is not blown apart into little ridiculous cartoon bubbles afore and your intelligence is real, rather then imagined constructiveness, i.e. the warped tunnels of intellectualism, all you have to do is stay tuned, be cool, find space, within your own vehicle of perception. Where space around you is within you. At the very epicentral core of universal balance, the revolver of eternity. The very place where "steady-state universe" meets the "big bang hypothesis". The room of contradiction, the lab of Gawd. This is the deep green door in the woods, leading to the vehicle of multiversal travel, the Ghost Ship, mentaIconic metamorphic mindGasmic word. The word of truth.

The word of Gawd. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost. For you mortals, this is all strange and perhaps even utterly absurd, probably so. Your world of diapered nursery reality, conflicting heavily by natural cause. Stay away then, don't go there. It's dangerous. You could so easily end your days in the clutches of Poe madness even, the abyss of Orwellian vortex, screaming with Edward Munch. Fossilized into perpetual hunger, by your immaturity, your insincerity. Beware mortals, this is the land of unlikeness, where nothing you see touches recognition.

Thirty years ago, in mid-August 1977, something happend. By the way, coinciding with the death of Elvis Presley. Took place. In Ohio. The land of Hart Crane. Here is a short - a very short rerun:

Ohio State University

 

By BBC News Online science editor
Dr David Whitehouse


A detailed look at the point in space from where an intelligent signal might have come has revealed nothing unusual.

Ohio State University
The Ohio Big Ear detected the Wow signal

 

The observations, using the multiple radio dishes of the Very Large Array (VLA) in New Mexico, US, add to the mystery of what has been called the "Wow" event.

In August 1977, radio astronomers detected what could have been a 72 seconds signal from intelligent life in space. But it happened only once.

Now, two researchers, Robert Grey and Kevin Marvel, have used the VLA to look at the source location with unprecedented sensitivity. They saw nothing strange or anything that could explain the signal.

 

We are moments away and counting down now. A 3½ day event of magical proportion. The Hart Crane Bridge from beyond death, right here in central Copenhagen, thru the time machine of the five lakes. And only I at this moment, the metaShaman fabShadow, knows where exactly this transmutational species jump will take place. It will be a significant event. April 27th 2008. The wondrous day of days, broken by the sky's rip-tooth acetylene, leaking thru canyoned walls, into the prodigal mind of mankind.
This is the city. This is where every instance known within mankind is found. In many shapes and colors ands sizes. Some in pain - others in ecstasy - most in between. As Hart Crane sentences in "The Hive", which he wrote at the soft age of seventeen, published in The Pagan in March of 1917. ............Up the chasm-walls of my bleeding heart, humanity pecks, claws, sobs and climbs; Up the inside, and over every part, of the hive of the world that is my heart, ......these are the words of a seventeen year old. A penetrator of cosmic consciousness, the avenging poetic angel of indiscriminate justice. In perpetual warfare against the hypocritical mode of his contemporaries, notably of the literary variety, but also in general. This natural New Yorker, born and raised in Ohio, was not only constantly at odds with society, the turbulent twenties no less, but a helpless victim of his estranged parents, a hysterical mother and stringently materialistic father, an old school capitalist, who wouldn't bankroll his only child, hoping to cure him thus of his senseless, ridiculous poetic ambition. Teach him a lesson in survival was his credo, when it came to the disciplining of his prodigal son, his precious achillian heel.

colder than her veins
her eyes like bloodied moon
dripping angel fear
dare not tread
for mortality
is rife      
on little pieces of silver
coins            
left on the doorstep
of trust   lies    
lies from the heart

VIEW colder video on youTube <<<<<<<<

138,803 years prior to the WOW……..something happened. As with the 1977 signal, it lasted only 72 seconds. And like the 1977 signal, it devastated the tracks of mankind genetically, propelling it into a wholly new species, almost overnight. At that point in time and space, central western Africa took the blast, head on, ripping through soft tissue on a tribe of relatively sedate early Homo Sapiens beings, only thirty four in number. Just lounging by the now well known Chari river, doing their thing, thang......as if nothing, nuffin.....was going down, man. Nuffin....and his sister. This signal - a powerful genetic transformer, could have, might as well have penetrated the structure of another evolved species, the sibling mankind framework known now as Homo Neanderthalensis. These, were however located elsewhere on the blue planet and never fathomed what was going on. Just didn't have a clue, now did they? Tough luck, bro.....bad break, huh?.....The cutting edge received by Homo Sapiens, which ultimately provided them with the bleeding edge, becoming Homo Sapiens Sapiens, irrefutable masters of a moist lump of hot rock, swiveling a mediocre ball of fire, located somewhere in the bland suburb of a trashy galaxy, revolving a common black hole. Wazzap wit dis.....?!

12th cycle – last cycle : 4857 BC ~ 4781 BC to 7155 ~ 7231 AD – Pisces
7th subCycle : 1150 / 1226 AD to 2151 / 2227 AD – Libra

plutoCharon Bridge           The plutoCharon Bridge

when describing the sun
poet breathing
make way
yo

if stopping to think about your life
be careful
lest you get stuck
there

the significance of every
mind
however small
to the larger picture
astounds me
perpetually

the important art
the art of discussion
the interlocution
of subjective with subjective
in search of objective
awareness is born
created by opposites
attracting

substance and style
getting together
creating this poem

poems
could be epitaphs
or living residue
gathered through
passing moments
conversation
scent
color
sound
a glance
time
whispering
the images of everyday
collected
kept alive
nurtured
harvested
enjoyed
the food chain
of awareness
life
thinking itself

past
present
future

father
son
holy ghost

whereas images
or sound bites
whether digital or papered
are copies of the past
at most creating emotions within you

words
through their code
mental icons
whether printed or spoken
words I say
create the past
as future
within you
and emotion besides
uniquely personified copies
become individual present

winter and spring is
for poetry
fiction is
 for summer and fall
rule number two

 

this i know
this i feel
the naked nail  
tween 
the soft indian summer 
of your betrayal
woman 

VIEW this video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 
Hart Crane....?.......speaking of Harold Hart Crane, where is he anyway? On a Jimi Hendrix wild thing moon somewhere, scattered all over dawns highway, with string for hair. Laying low in Melville's tomb perhaps, following that infamous solar boat leap? This sphinx from Ohio who chose to evacuate hisself from hell of being, by his own tortured will. But was it sheer desperation or premeditated intent, instigated with or without his own awareness, according to some cosmic blueprint, perhaps?

 

These figures below could be describing the number of co-existent extra-terrestrial technologically intelligent civilizations in our Milky Way Galaxy alone:
Number of planets with intelligence and civilization right now – 53,156
Average light years between - 961

 

 
I am a universe. I am the universe. From my bigBang moment to the final implosion, I am it. Thru my mind, time and space evolves. Thru my eyes, time as a river flows, not finding rest until reaching the ocean. Infinite, tranquil. Equilibrium. Patterns. Pattern recognition. Deciphering movement and its offspring. Feeling the moment. Moments. Stepping stones in consciousness. Alive. Being. Human being. The process.
 
On July 3rd [Julian Calendar] 2566 BC, The Pharaoh Khufu [2nd King of the fourth Dynasty - Old Kingdom] passed away and was transported by amd on his custom-built solar boat, the first of its kind, into the next life, to the bosom of his father, The Sun God RA. This is the first known instance of the new species Homo Ethicus Cogitensis [HEC], giving away light, into the mind of human awareness. The first known breakaway flare, as far as is recorded, from Homo Sapiens Sapiens, this antiquated, degenerating species, of whom we know all but to well, its dire excess, its vile tendencies. Incompassionate animal. Driven, from its core, by personal desire. Predator at heart. In general, HEC have been created and move at a certain speed - inside themselves and among one another - known to all initiated as khufuSpeed. Whereas Homo Sapiens Sapiens [HSS] dwell within light speed. As is well known.

 

come with me

 

 

    Mindelo      Mindelo cafe

The Calabrian looked up. There was a shadow in front of him he recognized. Of all the shadows passing him by on this lazy afternoon in Mindelo, Sao Vicente, Cap Verde, at the hardly overly busy café, where he sat outside on the dingy pavement, slouched with a cold beer of the foreign kind, this one he recognized. Of all the anonymous shadows, which passed him by on numerous voices and tones, the waves of background audio from the relaxed natives, this huge hulking shadow, now poised directly in front of him, brought his mind fast away from the three day old newspaper he was grinding.

International Herald Tribune, the only newspaper he ever happened to pick up, when inevitable trivialities of Cabo Verde, notably on the northernmost island of Santa Antao where he resided, awoke his always latent capacity for global gossip. Ever since his initial retirement, four years earlier, he had increasingly in intervals, pined for the fast life of mainland Europe and even Africa, the excitement of his former profession and the satisfaction of performing a trade, not least harvesting the reward for aforementioned work and enjoying its spoils to the hilt, with extreme prejudice. He used to be a killer for hire. A jack of all trades. Shady variety.
                
                 - Been looking for you, Calabrian. Long time no see.

                 - Wazzap bro. Long time no see. Looking for me?

                 - Yeah. You never check your mail. Never pick up your phone. Living like a hermit on some godforsaken island, don’t make it easy neither. Had to come here in person. Do you know how far away you live? Can’t you return to civilization again? There’s plenty of work out there. Can’t you use the money?

                  - Boy, dude……that was some speech. Motor mouth. How did you find me here?

                 - Took a chance. Thought you might be over here, day like this. The plane got in at Sao Pedro an hour ago. With the boat to Santa Antao not leaving before six, as you know. Took a chance. Here’s today’s Tribune by the way. Got it in Praia.

                 - Great stuff. Grab a seat. So, what do I owe the pleasure Michael? Beer?

                 - Nah, on the wagon. Waiter……coffee!.......[ his voice as deep as caves ]

                 - Really good coffee here. French’ies own this place. [I like the way he pronounces "coffee" - a slow southern, rusty guttural, like drawn from the annals of Mark Twain. Or Samuel Langhorne Clemens. Ain't that German?]

This world is the cold reptilian variety. Mess with it and you embrace its consequences.

You are alone. You enter as a single, autonomous being and thus you depart. Back to the dust of ages. No emotion. Hardly any tears, just being. In the moment. Not living for tomorrow, not pining for yesterday. Life is now and you better not fall asleep. Beware of false moves. Keep an eye on your friends. Tomorrow they could be your enemies. Don’t tell them all your secrets either. Could be your downfall. Michael Merisi. King of the netherworld, here on business. A trusted exception to this rule for The Calabrian. Starting out together, patrolling the streets of Lyon, as mean men for a local boss, they had taken over his game, as surely as sunshine follows rain. They were in their early twenties and didn’t give a damn. It was all about fast women, easy money and reputation. Rep was everything back then. Word of mouth into myth. Before cell phones and Internet. In the late seventies. Last millennium. Read 2007 folks. Now.

Sweltering black coffee arrived on a tray, flown with a smile by a beautifully black girl, wearing blue eyes and a red dress. Her eyes shone with the basalt reality of living conditions dominating this vast barren Cabo Verde Archipelago. Like Galapagos a volcanic world. Where hot lava seethe beneath the surface of a vast sea off the African Continent. Like Galapagos, brought to attention by Charles Darwin back in the early nineteenth century. Not as important to the man who collected the vision of Origin of the Species, but nevertheless. Same story. Hard to imagine a more significant thesis, than the one breaking away from two millennia of religious mindset. Michael Merisi, being extremely intelligent, could not see a contradiction between the two however. What’s wrong with the concept of both realities. The reality of Jesus, arriving here from the mind of God and the accumulative revelation of time on the face of a planet, following . Many planets for that matter. He could see no problem here. It was just a question of being creative. Bending time and space. Reality is not what you think it is, is his walking, talking philosophy. Wake up!

She slyly flirted with him as she inched the bright red cup towards his slot of the table. This is Cabo Verde, probably the most promiscuous location on the planet. No one takes relationships seriously here. Far the majority here are women, with the men-folk emigrated to every corner of the globe. The work situation on the islands being hopeless. The entire population, in a wide sense on private welfare. Subsiding on checks or transfers, come their way from relatives abroad. Certain areas in the United States harboured more Cap Verdeans than the entire present population. Take that for cosmopolitanism. Goes without saying, any man here, especially the foreign kind, is hot currency to any fit woman, her potential ticket to relative luxury, perhaps even life abroad. Shopping!

Michael gave her his smile. He numbed his deep sense of futility, while simultaneously warping his perceptions, sensual as well a mental, lending him a short space in time, where his consciousness didn’t protest wildly. Shut the fuck up. Bastard. His volcanic mind erupted again.

The girl slunk indoors. Her pouting mouth and coy demeanour belied her age. She wasn’t fifteen. At least twenty-five, but she knew from experience that men, foreigners in particular, preferred  woman young. Fifteen to eighteen. Resulting in a perpetual battle among females on these male starved islands, to radiate innocence, youth, fresh meat. Naturally at times resulting in comicality and farcical treats of show. Anything to get ahead.

   Santo Antao     Cap Verde Archipelago

Muddafucka, was The Calabrian’s initial reaction, in response to the request forwarded by his good friend and lifelong associate Michael Merisi. Muddafucka. it came like a slow sigh from his thin lips, the fag stuck in a limbo, a thin white rope ascending.

                   - Muddafucka, man…….I see your point, Michael. This has got to be stopped. Soon, or else the whole thing is gonna blow. Sky high, man. Sky high. Like Fogo. Black smoke rising. Ash’n debris everywhere. Muddafucka, what a bitch. And to an old friend of ours like that. Makes me sick, to the pit of my stomach. Remember him so well. He’d done a lot for the firm too. Lots. Yep. It’s gotta stop now and I think I know exactly what to do. Listen Mike……

 

    • Yes, who is it?
    • Is it Eduardo Grazziano?
    • Yes, maybe and maybe not…….who is asking?
    • The Calabrian, Eduardo.
    • The Calabrian?..........The Calabrian?!
    •  Yes, it is I. We have a problem, up your alleyway. Big problem. Are you seated and ready?
    • Yes, one moment……yes sir, fire away……

   if you say so
darling

the sun is a blue mirror
leaves are strands of sun in pain
      filled with the nausea    
reacting upon whim
                         for Agnete, May 25th - 2007

VIEW darling video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

 this tree of cedar
five thousand years here    
stands like a monument     stuck   
in time's throat
just passing thru    
been there
did that

VIEW of cedar video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 

The fabulous shadow of your bewitched cathedral gaze.

Who the devil put that line in my head? Can't seem to get rid of it. Brings me back to your eyes. Back to Mexico. Back to Taxco - and those damned belles. The bells I say, kept us awake for days. What's wrong with those catholics anyway? Who put milk in their honey? And mixed it with lime. Has to be some kind of law against it. The bells, I mean. Not the belles. And who the hell put the devil in my drink.....?......what time is it?....time for another drink, that's what.......Emil......Emil.....the cobalt of your eyes has become embedded in my own, this azure water.....were it not for time, I would kiss your soft masculine lips with all the ecstasy of a rotting carcass, caught inside the termination of a malfunctioning frame.

The reaper. The reaper. I can smell him, and his effervescent evaporating death. The glue in my nostrils distinguish his predatory glare, this succulent fabulous shadow of his bewitched cathedral gaze......Emil....EMIL....why hast thou forsaken me? What's that.....what you say, woman.....bitch!......sure, why not.....it's that time of day....an hour till noon and the ship is doing good speed, riding this steamer into the violence of the sun..... my naked ears are tortured by sirens sweetly singing.....riders on the storm, broken by the evangelical determination of a song sung to the end, not to be unsung.....until death us do reunite, my eternity.........................cathedral sweetheart trauma.......gaze. That one, false move....behind blue eyes. Beyond.

 
Ever wondered how the metaShaman took care of the worst bitch in the world? Here's how. What he did was construct a metaSoftwareProgram, which was then executed into the metaMainframe via metaHighway.
 

then she was there
singing the brown walls
     reverberating light demon
      without warning
       cutting through
the air   like wings
    butterfly wings    

                                                for Lisbeth, June 20th - 2007

VIEW then video on youTube <<<<<<<<

 
This is the pregnant moment within the eye of a storm. This is the split second driving truth, like wildfire from the chaos within your eyes - hurt - from betrayal. Like crutches hurtled against glass. Yet another devastating Hart Crane dagger - cutting through air. Like butterflies wings.
 

starring into the abyss       
eyes gone cold  
pregnant dawn murmurs shattering
insane shadow    sulfurous body   

 

d r e a m      lost at sea - a novel              

The Studebaker’s doors were wide open. The woods were lovely, dark and deep. And he had promises to keep. And miles to go before he could sleep. Miles to go, before he would sleep. From the opening of one of the doors to the car, the left side door, a body slumped. Hanging half outside the car, as if he had been stopped dead in his tracks, attempting to escape the vehicle. He was a very powerful man, which was why the body hadn’t fallen clear of the car and onto the mossy and tangled forest floor. It was being held up by its own massiveness. Several species of flying insects, had already latched on to his supply of blood, sweat and assorted microorganisms. His protests would have been futile, anyway it didn’t matter. The stupefied expression in his wide open eyes, narrated a tale of confounding surprise. The surprise of dying. He was dead, dead, dead. No longer breathing. Pretty difficult when you are dead.

He had a hole in his head. Right above his right ear. Liquid was pouring out of the hole. Which was not a good thing. The hole in his head, or rather two holes, since there was an exit-hole as well, but this hole was less flamboyant. The entry hole was definitely of recent origin and it had been created by some terrible force and at very close range. As a matter of fact, you couldn’t get any closer than this. The cavity, was the word of a powerful handgun, a revolver, firing a .480 caliber Ruger, which under normal circumstances, would blow the head clean off any unfortunate target. But the head and skull of this victim was so massive, the handgun had only been able to penetrate the skull and exit the same skull, approximately seven inches later. Which didn’t really matter, since the .480 Ruger bullet had fulfilled its objective, by purging the head and its body from exuding further evil. The man would no longer be a nuisance to society. A threat to ordinary, law-abiding citizens.

About ten yards away another, equally powerfully built man, was hovering on his knees, praying for his life or so it seemed. He was visibly shaken, wearing the look of those, who have just experienced sudden, explosive and inexplicable, out-of-the-blue events. Stunned, chocked, paralyzed by fear, but just as much by lack of comprehension concerning what had happened. Just gone down. Like traffic accident victims or plane crash survivors seem to exert. This man was so afraid, you could smell it. He had lost control of his intestines and frankly the odor was unpleasant, as was the lack of character seemingly displayed, in extension thereof. Sniveling, pleading, promises. From a man that size, it seemed almost blasphemous. Bizarre at best.

The final figure in this scene, one of the two alive out of three possible, was not crying. On the contrary he seemed very fit and his body language displayed superiority, carried in a relaxed air. He had a gun in his left hand and its ridiculously short barrel was pointing straight at the sniveling mans head. The diminutive hand-gun was officially a hunting and target practice piece of no-nonsense trickery, but it could also be used for other things. Other kinds of action. Such as threatening. Coercing. Exhibiting anger. Here was a textbook case of insignificant but lethal. The man brandishing the dwarf-sized handgun, was himself rather large. As a matter of fact he was as large as the dead man in the car door and the whimpering man on his knees. Larger even. At least taller.

That fact and the fact he had just killed one of the two other men, as easily as if he was taking candy from that trademark baby, somehow did exacerbate the seriousness of the kneeling mans misfortune, in a few minutes revolving full circle, from in-charge inquisitioner, one half of a fearless, successful, enforcer duo into defenseless patsy, Joe Doe. Big little man. And all because of the ill will, exerted by one man and his trivial looking snubnosed sidekick. Like a cobra, taunted into retaliation, the combined efforts of Eduardo and his favorite deputy, the Super Redhawk .480 Ruger Alaskan, had turned tables and Eduardo was demanding answers. Lots of answers. Gun barrel in your mouth kind of answers. Fast. There were no two ways of viewing that situation. He was angry and he wanted to know what was going on. Now, not in two minutes. NOW, or else……

 

........A dude ranch. Hmmm. Perhaps not a bad idea, Eduardo was reflecting, just as the slick, white and maroon colored, 1955 Studebaker President State Sedan, resembling a shark slid through the tremble of posh Alto de Santo Amaro evening, streamline and mean. With edgy young couples and more boisterous families promenading, throwing glances at the low-humming cruiser, looking like it was about to devour that sold looking gent, dressed in black suit, hat pulled down, hanging at a lamppost. Sweating.

“Get in”, a voice from the drivers seat commanded. Reaching Eduardos ear, wrapped in an accent he couldn’t place right away, but knew he had had heard before. And not a tone of voice anyone was likely to question either. Eduardo intended doing as he was told. He had to hand it to his boss.

First the sex part and now this. What a flashy vehicle. Eduardo was impressed. Real impressed.

“Where should I sit” he asked, noticing there were two available seats, one up front and one in back, holding the door, waiting for the reply.

“Get in” the guy in the back echoed, just as brusquely as the driver had, and in the same recognizable accent he just couldn’t place. And Eduardo was impressed. The way they spoke to him. El Ogro, underworld notoriety, serious enforcer, made it clear this was the cream of all villainousness represented. Anyone else from the nether plane, would’ve appended most sentences addressed in his direction with Sir. Deciding not to ride his luck and repeat the query, he got in the back, partly because that option made him feel better. Less prone to accidents, less exposed than the front seat. Explanations unnecessary, huh?

He got in the back seat and the car drove away, this time more in tune with its character, pushing the speed limits along the avenue instantly. Eduardo wondered where they were headed and why they were leaving the vicinity of the imperious yellow hotel. Then he realized they were heading for the airport. Shortly thereafter he had to accept his job was most likely over. Maybe cut short, maybe something had happened and the boss had had a change of heart. None of these two gents, both in their mid-thirties, looked like they were about to share, either their thoughts or enlighten his curiosity. They just stared straight ahead, not even bothering to look at him.

The problem, or rather one of them was, he couldn’t place their origin, which was strange, since Eduardo had been to every shade on the planet. He was usually able to correctly place ethnicity, within ten seconds at the most. If only these dudes would say something in their native tongue and he would in all probability have them pegged. And most likely immediately recognize, if he was in a fix or not. But the dudes were silent as graves. Dead silent. Nothing, no hint. Eduardo felt his adrenaline pumping like crazy. His mind was firing all cylinders. In all directions.

He was prepared for anything. Worst case scenario. Friendly fire? Getting done for being an accomplice, to something Eduardo had no idea, in his rather square-shaped head, what was all about. But he came to the conclusion, being a seasoned killer hisself, these guys were just escorting him to the airport. Killers about to whack someone, especially other killers, smell differently. They release a remarkable odor. Fear, nervous energy, madness, lust. All kinds of aromatic distinctiveness and these gents were just stone cold voids. Might as well be made of marble and live in a museum. Still, he clenched his fists and mentally went through the spinal routine, of what to do, how to reach his knife sheathed inside his shirt and better still his hand-gun strapped to his ankle, should things get messy. With him as clear underdog, for once. Very precarious situation indeed for our Eduardo. Eduardo Grazziano. Jack of all trades. El Ogro. Maybe it was all in his head...............

 

...................Eduardo was getting more worried by the minute. He had a 2½ inch snub-nosed with crowned barrel, satin-stainless finish, Ruger revolver with Hogue/Tamer monogrip, Sorbothane insert to help cushion recoil, harboring six .480 Ruger caliber ammo, nestled inside a black Alaskan nylon holster manufactured by Michael’s of Oregon. Strapped to his left ankle and that was side where the other guy was seated, meaning he couldn’t even put his hand anywhere near his gun, thereby risking tipping him off. He also had eighteen extra bullets in a magazine carrier strapped to a Ruger Leather Black Sport Belt. This gave him options, but it was crucial, should his paranoia pay off and he had to fend for his life, that he gain some distance between him and his could-be-assassins, at least two to three yards and preferably behind some kind of cover. He also had a deadly Ruger lightweight hunter knife, with red rubberized handle. Good, solid, no-nonsense grip. 10 inch overall with 5 inches of swept skinner blade, a reception gift from an Afghan warlord, whom he was hired by to take out a certain dangerous individual, incognito max stuff, which he did, using the dagger, before using the silenced Redhawk. Though not too fond of the associated, harrowing narrow-escape memories.

The surprisingly slim, yet robust dagger, was securely lodged in a shouldered nylon sheath. All made in good ole USA. He could get at it with either hand. It was point blank lethal, due to its blade curvature and it was his only option, lest reaching his revolver was blocked and should the bad deed unfold inside the vehicle, now traveling at eighty miles an hour, north-bound. The airport had long since been discarded as possible destination. They could be in Porto soon at this rate. Somewhat unlikely. Putting himself in their position, ruining the interior of this beastly fine car, seemed far fetched. They knew he was a pro killer, he was probably the most notorious contract killer still performing. So it was more probable, any kind of bumping off at his expense, would mean exiting the vehicle and that is where he would go for his double-action Redhawk and start barking, while unloading the magazine from his Ruger belt simultaneously, as he pounced for nearest cover.

“Don’t worry”, the dude up front driving suddenly said, looking at him through the rear-view mirror, “we’re not gonna axe you”. His pal behind him and next to Eduardo, turned his head and smiled at him reassuringly. “There has been a change of plans, that’s all”, the second dude, now smiling and looking friendly, continued. “So you don’t have to make self-defense plans either, we know you have an ankle-gun and shoulder–knife too”. Eduardo had to admit, he was taken aback and with the two honcho’s breaking into guffawing, marveling at their own wit and perception, at Eduardos expense, it was difficult to suppress his annoyance. But he did. Instead he started asking questions.

Like “When can I get back to my hotel. All my heavy stuff is there, not a joke if they are found by the police?”

“Your stuff is in the trunk. We took the liberty of checking you and your luggage out of the hotel. They know us. And we did remember your toothbrush”. More guffawing, which didn’t help improve Eduardo's mood, but at least they had his stuff in the car.

Next question, “”Where are we headed?”.

“North, that’s all we can say. Not far from a city called Coimbra, a village outside, probably thirty miles or so. The name is irrelevant. But anyway, it’s called Simontorta, weird name, huh? We still have at least sixty to seventy miles left, so snuggle in, feel free to ask, we’ll see if we can answer, not to private okay. We really don’t care about each others personal lives, do we…..haw-haw……”. Both of them seemed to relish that one.

“When can we stop, so I can pay a visit to the head?”, Eduardo was so free as to inquire.

“We’ll stop half-way, grab a coff, hit the john, bum a fag, down some grub, fondle a dirty magazine. Whatever. Can you hold it till then?”, the backseat guy asked.

 “Sure thing”, Eduardo said, knowing it would give him ample time to think his situation through. Heading for central Portugal, Sima-something. His plans all fucked up. And were these guys legit? Who said they weren’t just trying to make him relax, so it would be easier for them to off him somewhere? Why should the name of the village they were headed, be irrelevant? Could be a slip from their side? Did that mean he wouldn’t be able to care anyway, what it was called? Everywhere he looked he saw secluded spots. Hills, mountains, gullies, forests, vast ranges, rivers. This place was paradise for killers looking to stash a freeze. Eduardo shuddered, his body still tense. Ready for worst-case-scenario type action. Better not be too cushy about this. If they actually did stop at a café somewhere, that would change things, meaning they probably were just taking him to the boss. The Jewish guy who had hired him for surveillance. Until then, half an hour or so, it was about not relaxing one bit. Not even one bit!.........................

 

.............With the seven year anniversary of nine-eleven looming a little more than a month ahead, Eduardo was reminiscing the day he was momentarily stuck on the 37th floor of the North Tower. He was there on a job. Nothing easier than doing what he did best, fulfilling a contract, with thousands of people milling about, everyone mostly strangers to each other. As easy, as if he been alone with his prey and the vicinity vacuumed of witnesses for miles around. Later, while pouring over the pictures of the three thousand victims, he realized that  his contracted target was among those officially deceased, which left him with half his pay, twenty-five thousand dollars, solely because of the force majeure aspect. And the fact Eduardo had succeeded in convincing the bad guys who hired him, he had actually snuffed the target, only ten minutes before the plane struck and arguing that most on the 37th floor survived the event.

He could not prove his murder, damn, but his contractors couldn’t disprove either, that he had fulfilled his contract before ground zero became ground zero, even though it was a lie, therefore ending in the settlement. Not a bad deal for Eduardo. He regarded the lie as part of the job. Hazard benefit or we’re sorry you almost got killed by turrorists doing a job for us Eduardo refund. In real life, Eduardo had not yet located his target, before he died from a heart attack, because of the event. Suffering from a rare, genetic flaw, unknown to him or his connected stats. But lucky for Eduardo. Win some, lose others…………

The nine-eleven episode was in many ways, the prototypical situation for Eduardo. Like his victims, he was often, for reasons only explicable as destiny, karma, fate and down that road, finding himself in last moment escape situations and freak luck getaways. It was uncanny. He had become accustomed to it, it was now part of his self understanding. Eduardo Grazziano, a.k.a. El Ogro, for hire, for a price. P.S. Moonshines as escape artist. Take the nine-eleven thing. Of all places he had to be there, right there at that particular time. Jeeeez, Eduardo thought, someone has my number. He had no opinion of Osama Bin Laden or the Hijackers or Al Qaida for that matter. His life was far to explosive and primetime packed, for him to have opinions. Harbor that kind of luxury. Only when it came to understanding of methods to pull off some scheme and get away with it, did he pay attention. For professional reasons. No other reason mattered, to him. Some TV-documentary for example. Great for getting ideas. And be tipped off, what route not to venture. That kind of knowledge.

At this moment, four days after escaping the fatal woods, so lovely dark and deep, not far from Zibreira, central Portugal, he was packing a wad into his valise, which he had just unloaded from the Studebaker. He had moments ago received the wad, always cash, remember that son, from an American gentleman. Another ninety thousand euros going into his project, fundamentally supplied by someone else, in this case the two gangsta’s, he reluctantly was forced to bump off. After finalizing the transaction, the gentleman decided to have a coffee at an outdoors, in the little river-based border town, from where Eduardo was about to board a ferry, negotiating the short trip to Spain.

Which he duly did. Eduardo was headed for Seville and the American gent, also the owner of a luxury yacht harbored in Tavira’s rather extravagant pier, was your run-of-the-mill vintage vehicle buff. Eduardo never had it so easy, offloading anything. Ever. He was practically swamped with several offers, just driving about, even just walking, enjoying the quaint, cozy, winding, petit town. His anonymity factor was in danger of becoming potholed. So this guy, a wealthy stock broker from Los Angeles, bent on having it shipped over there, being the most persistent and it seemed, the best prospect, in terms of time period expected to lapse, before unforeseen events could occur. By that time, if anything was to transpire, however unlikely, Eduardo would be long gone and hard to track. He thought Eduardo was headed for outer Mongolia, just dying to take the Nestea plunge and Eduardo did nothing to correct that supposition. Always paid to cover your back. This is hard earned gut experience jiving, so listen up...............

And so it was - tetriano metamorphosed into fabShadow - not only symbolically as seen in the HSS transition into HEC, but literally - behold the wonder - behold the man.
 
................n o w
writer in his cyberStudio - at work ~ quiet please
note - text can and will be subjected revision - subsequently updated, ongoing - for your pleasure

this site is almost brand new, dig................

twas created by the glaring gent below ~ on March 16th 2007 at high noon

be careful ~ lest it blow your mind

 

    Michael Merisi       

copyright © 2008 fabShadow